This is not your stock-standard “about” page, because I am not your stock-standard author, poet, coach or tarot reader.
I am a multi-passionate word witch who uses fiction, poetry, tarot and life coaching to bridge worlds. These worlds may be the new and old or the magickal and mundane, the real and imagined or the known and unknown. Words are my super power and I love nothing more than opening doors for people; illuminating the worlds beyond.
I am a woman entangled in phoenix energy, infused with the power of devastation and regeneration. Someone who has learned over the years how to rise from the ashes, time and time again.
I am not living the dream, because I am not even sure what my dream is. I am okay in saying I honestly don’t get dreams but for many years I assumed there was something inherently wrong with me because I didn’t and everyone else did. I spent decades not even being sure about who I wanted to be. So, I am experimenting with what my best life is. Leaning into its mercurial nature. I’m learning the power of small incremental change. I’m embracing joy because I do understand that.
I also understand passion. My passions are my best friends and most troublesome co-conspirators. It is a lifetime’s work to know when to say ‘yes’ and when to say ‘no’ especially because I am a finisher as much as a I am a starter. I will see something through to the end (even if it’s the bitter end, because life is not all happy endings).
I moved too hard and too fast for too many years. I believed my body would keep pace, because it always had. Until of course, it couldn’t. I am still working out what it means to move slower. To befriend pain. To embrace patience. I no longer see my body betraying me. Instead, I see the ways I failed it. I strive to live daily with compassion and kindness, surrendering into my body in the moment. I live in conscious alignment with my physical and energetic bodies. I have quit writing cheques my body was never able to cash.
I have lived a life of bonfires born from trauma. But I have pledged to stopped stacking them, choosing to practice laying foundations. I am done with my legacy blowing away in ashes.
Most of all, I am not afraid of the shadows. Especially not my own. And most definitely, not yours.
Woven between the poetics of these words are the everyday realities of who I am.
I am based in Brisbane, Australia. I live in suburban obscurity with my partner of 19 years, my 17-year-old son and our kooky spoodle Duke (aka Smuppy). The lockdowns of the Covid pandemic gave me a new appreciation of those who live in my neighbourhood. It taught me to be open to who my tribe might be.
My passion for writing began when I was 10, during the LA Olympics when we were charged with writing Willy’s adventures (Australia’s mascot). In this moment I realised I could write my own stories. I wrote my first ‘novel’ at 12. Twenty-six year later, I had my first extended work, Elyora, published. In all those years (and the ones since) I never stopped identifying as a writer. In 2021 I stepped into the identity of ‘career writer’ leaving behind my years as a ‘binge writer’. This is a brand new adventure and one I’m still getting the hang of. In 2022 I will publish my first solo novel What I Left to Forget.
Creativity is my oxygen. The love of words and stories had led me down all kinds of rabbit holes. I was a magazine editor. I co-owned a small press that gave dozens of writers their first publication. I freelanced as a book designer. And yes, wrote my own books (including one of poetry). I am currently one third of a writing cooperative called The JAR Writers’ Collective. I’ve assisted almost 30 titles to print. For 18 months, I built a daily metaphysical cut-up poem for a paid subscribers only list, producing more than 500 poems. In 2022 I’m back creating poetry every day on Patreon on a $10 tier.
I spent my 20’s working casual minimum-wage jobs. I became adept at surviving on a pittance and wanting nothing. In my 30’s I stayed home to raise a son and run a business. Creative excellence came before money until the household budget could no longer sustain being a patron of the arts. In my 40’s I made peace with hinky money stories and chose to unpack my inner success saboteur. I am a work in progress. In 2022 I am returning to dig deeper into stories around earning a living from writing.
I felt too much and not enough as a young woman. Trauma disrupted my ability to establish healthy intimacy with men. In a culture that told me I was only worthy if I was in a romantic relationship, I stayed in an abusive one for three years to prove “I could do relationships”. Trauma begets more trauma until the cycle is broken. I still feel the wobble of not knowing how much of me is enough.
My son was born at home in 2004. It was a gigantic stride forward in owning what was important to me and giving zero fucks about what other people thought. The seeds of my rebellion were sowed here. I became part of the birth reform movement. The Home Midwifery Association also gave me my start in publishing and editing. When I stepped away from activism, I injected the fight for bodily autonomy into my science fiction. The first baby of those efforts is Her First Reality, Darkness (a reproductive dystopia). Books 2 and 3 in the series are schedule for publication in 2023.
The road through motherhood has been rocky. I never considered the possibility of being the Mum of a son with chronic anxiety. I never considered solo parenting even though I was partnered (my partner spent years away doing field work). I never considered the toll of unsupported parenting (no close family and our friends were all new parents like us). I was totally unprepared for the daily grind because no one spoke about it. I once joked motherhood was a gilded cage I was locked inside.
My son’s anxiety brought unanticipated challenges. I wish I had chosen home-schooling from the beginning, but I was desperate for the respite school offered. Instead, I got home-schooling only after my son had been damaged within the system. I also got a son who couldn’t play at a friend’s place, sleep over, or give us a break by being elsewhere. I often wonder how I made it out in one piece. At the same time, I know quite a lot of me didn’t make it out. My son turns 18 in 2022 and I can believe now, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Chronic illness came first as depression, then as ongoing, undiagnosable pain. It came as years of insomnia, followed by years of exhaustion. It came as panic and anxiety and a plethora of associated health issues. But one thing chronic illness taught me was how much energy goes into stuffing things down. Life eventually is better for the purge that chronic illness brings with it (but it fucking hurts at the time). I trust implicitly the friends I still have. I also know that iron is my best friend and its lack, my most gutting enemy.
I’m a recovering overachiever. I’m also a recovering addict of starting something new to bolster what’s existing and floundering. I call this “new project energy” – a lot like the heady “new relationship energy”. I have burnt out time and time again. I still struggle to choose ‘no’, when every part of me screams ‘yes’, and to trust a great idea does not have a shelf life. I believe I will find the sweet point of how much I can sustainably do in any given day/week/month/year.
I came out as polyamorous at 42. This was 13 years into a relationship that wasn’t in a strong shape. I faced myself and healed the things I assumed would be fixed simply by being with another. I learned to love myself (truly and deeply) and to engage in being the best version of myself. I am grateful for the role life coaching played in supporting me (because therapy utterly failed me). We are happier now than we have ever been. This is one of two defining areas of my personal evolution.
My spiritual awakening and continual unfolding is the second. As Lindsay Mack says: It is not one and done. Or as Shrek says: Ogres are like onions. They have layers. I have psychic channels and more recently, a heart channel. None of this comes with a user’s manual, and thus, it is a wild adventure. I am blessed to have a foot in both worlds.
I have been a professional tarot reader since 2016 with a focus on narrative shifting – helping people to see the impact of the old stories shaping their lives and supporting them to write new ones. My practice is very much shaped by my experience of life coaching (I am the tarot reader who sets homework!) and my work as an editor and author. Part of this work has been the production of a monthly tarot journal, to help people help themselves. The ReAuthored life (previously The Lyrical Songbook) is in its 5th year in 2022 and is available via Patreon.
Ultimately working as a tarot reader led me to train as a life coach. Here, I think I might finally bring my multi-passionate nature into a sharper focus and with more power than I dared ever imagine was possible. If nothing else it lead me here, to embracing the multi-faceted nature I’ve finally been able to articulate here (and in building a single website to embrace all of me!)